


a love ten years in the making

by Misterdevere



Series: what’s life without love [29]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26683870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misterdevere/pseuds/Misterdevere
Summary: An exploration of Frankie's relationships
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: what’s life without love [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868476
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	a love ten years in the making

“You know when you said everyone’s first time is awkward...like, awkward how?” They each sat curled around a mug of tea on Leo’s sofa, Frankie having asked to borrow a bit of his brother’s time again - time that he would always be given.

“Well,” Leo cleared his throat. “I came in about 15 seconds, I think I actually squeaked, and my girlfriend at the time was very obviously trying not to laugh at me. But it was fine. No one’s good at it to start with but if you sleep with people you actually like, you can laugh about the awkward moments together, it can be fun.”

“Yeah but most people get their awkward moments out of the way when they’re in their teens,” Frankie grumbled into his mug. “Like it ain’t already embarrassing enough being a 22-year-old virgin, now I know she might laugh at me.”

Leo laughed kindly. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, mate. There’s no rule that you have to have shagged by the time you turn 18, and I can guarantee half the ones that said they did were full of shit. You’re fine, don’t stress too much about it.”

“Thanks.”

“So who’s the she?” Leo raised his eyebrows curiously, a soft smile on his face.

“Oh. There’s a girl that I’ve been going out with for a bit.”

“The same person you were seeing last year?”

“No, things didn’t really go anywhere with her. This is someone else. I don’t really know if this is going anywhere either but we get on. We’re kind of planning a romantic night in this weekend, I just don’t wanna make a twat of myself.”

“You won’t. So you wanna do that?”

“Yeah. I think so. I know it’s dumb and I probably should’ve been ages ago but I think I’m ready.”

“It’s not dumb, that’s good. Well, I’m sure it will all be okay but if you need to talk to me, you can.”

“Thanks.”

It was a couple of weeks before they saw each other again and Frankie hadn’t called to say it was a disaster so Leo figured it was probably fine. Nonetheless he felt the need to check in. “How are things going with this girl then?”

“Not bad. You were right, things didn’t go great but she was cool about it. We had a bit of a laugh about it and gave it another shot. Well, gave it another few shots since and it’s fine. I guess I’m still not crazy about it, I could kind of take it or leave it. Like mostly I don’t think I’d really care if we didn’t have sex but if she wants to, I don’t hate the idea any more. Is that weird?”

Leo shook his head. “No, it’s not weird, some people just ain’t that bothered. How do you feel about it?”

“I feel okay. The problem wasn’t that I thought I was asexual or whatever, it was that I didn’t know if I _actually_ was or if it was just because of Charlie. This at least feels real, so yeah, I’m happy enough.”

“That’s good, I’m glad.” He was genuinely pleased that he’d been able to work through some of his issues enough to feel comfortable being intimate with someone else. “I know it’s a lot of work but I’m glad you’re moving past what happened. You deserve to be happy and I hate that you had such a long time where you weren’t.”

“It’s not like I weren’t ever happy; I was, a lot. Dad and pop were so great - they gave me all the support I could’ve wanted - and so were you, even though you had the divorce going on and the kids to look after. Charlie was a horrific blip, I wouldn’t have cut myself if I was happy then.” Leo’s heart ached at the memory of going back to his parents’ house and seeing Frankie in tears - as he almost constantly was for a while - and with bandages around his wrist. “But once I got away from him and went to counselling, I was okay. I know it all affected me in a deeper way but I didn’t actually feel unhappy, it was only really when it came to sex.”

“I still wish you’d been able to talk to us.”

“I knew that I could’ve and that I should’ve but I just didn’t want to. I knew I was doing stuff that I shouldn’t have been doing - I mean if I found out Riley was doing stuff now that I chose to do then, I’d be mortified - and I knew that I’d have to admit to doing that and wanting to do that if I told you lot what he’d done. He would probably have lied about it and made me look worse as well, and I didn’t want you all to know everything and know how stupid I’d been. What you did know was already bad enough.”

“It weren’t your fault for wanting to try things that he went too far.”

“I know but I thought it was. I knew that you would all be amazing about it and be sympathetic and do everything that you could to help me and I really thought I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t think I deserved the help I did get, I thought I deserved to be punished. That’s why I started self-harming, and I would’ve kept doing it and not told any of you anything if I hadn’t got scared that time but I’m glad I did.”

“So am I. I mean I wish you’d never felt the need to do it in the first place but I’m glad that happened before you did something really dangerous.” Frankie nodded in agreement. “You know pop thought it was because you weren’t sure about your sexuality. You know that doesn’t matter to any of us, right?”

“Yeah, course I do.”

“But I know you were stressed out about it. Are you still?”

“I dunno. I still don’t really know how I’d describe myself but he always said I don’t have to know, right?” He’d always been grateful for Merlin saying that to him. It made him feel like maybe he wasn’t such a freak for not understanding his own feelings. It meant that he knew his parents would accept him no matter what. But it also meant that he never forced himself to analyse his feelings and understand what was him and what was created within him by Charlie, and so he’d never forced himself to really acknowledge what Charlie had done until he spoke to Leo about it. Almost a year of counselling had helped him understand some of it but he still wasn’t completely comfortable with himself. “I guess I might still be attracted to blokes, I don’t really know, but I know I don’t wanna be with one.”

“Because of him?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe. But I’m with someone anyway, and I think I’m pretty happy with her.”

“Good.” He didn’t seem completely smitten but Leo hoped that was just him playing it cool. More than a year passed and they never heard any more mention of her or got to meet her so he guessed nothing came of it after all.

“Hey.” Frankie stepped outside to greetings from his parents and his brother and noticed their curious looks at the tall, blonde man who followed him out. “This is Jamie.” With his heart pounding in his chest, he gently took the hand of the man in question and noticed the small smiles from his family. “Jamie, these are my dads, Eggsy and Merlin, and my brother, Leo.”

Frankie had asked if Leo could come round and asked him to keep them in the garden for when he arrived so he, at least, knew that something was happening but it would be a lie to say that they weren’t all surprised. While he hadn’t told his parents (like he had Leo) that he didn’t want a relationship with a man and no one that he’d been out with had been serious enough to introduce to his family, he had mentioned a few relationships and as far as they knew, they’d all been with women. Not that it mattered to them as long as he was happy. Merlin was the first to stand and shake the young man’s hand with a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Jamie.”

Eggsy followed quickly behind his husband, welcoming Jamie just as warmly, and Leo greeted him and moved seats to allow them to sit on the bench together. They had lunch and beer in the garden and got to know each other. Jamie easily fit in, laughing along with their jokes and teasing Frankie a little, polite enough to help Eggsy clear dishes and comfortable enough to fetch drinks. As the sun started to set and the evening got cooler, Frankie shifted a bit closer and Jamie put an arm around him, their fingers intertwined on his shoulder while the others noticed, full of pride.

They stayed when Leo left to pick up the girls and head home but made a move themselves when it started to get late. They started gathering their things and Frankie found himself grinning after Jamie when he nipped off to the loo before they left. Merlin felt warmth in his heart and a smile on his face as he watched their lad. He was a far cry from the jumpy teenager he’d caught sharing his first kiss with a boy. “I like him.”

“Yeah, me too.” Merlin chuckled. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was seeing a guy or-“

Merlin cut him off with a shake of the head. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t owe us an explanation. You’re happy?” Frankie nodded, his face telling every ounce of it. “Good. That’s all we care about.” He pulled Frankie into a hug. “We’re happy for you. And so proud of you.”

“Thanks, pop.”

Merlin barely let him go before Eggsy squeezed him tight and planted a kiss on his cheek. “We love you so much.”

“I love you both too.”

Leo practically demanded he come round for coffee the next day and they settled on the sofa with mugs in hand. “Jamie seems nice. You look really, really happy with him.”

Frankie couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “I am. He’s amazing, he’s so funny and he knows so much random shit, I could listen to him talk for hours. Plus, I mean, you’ve seen him. He’s beautiful. Way out of my league.” Leo laughed and easily disagreed. “I thought I was happy with other people but it was nothing like this. Think I might be properly in love with him.”

Leo grinned as he spoke about his new love. “I’m really fucking pleased for you, mate. What do dad and pop think of him?”

“They seemed to like him. They’re just glad I found someone that makes me happy, I think.”

“Course they are. So am I. I’m really proud of how far you’ve come.”

“Thanks. I can’t say things weren’t a bit difficult again with him. You know, trusting and sleeping with women was one thing but it was an extra layer of anxiety to do that with a bloke for the first time. But he got it. He doesn’t mind that we don’t have the whole honeymoon-phase-shagging-all-the-time thing going on. He’s the only other person that I’ve ever told, that I’ve ever wanted to explain to, and he’s the sweetest, kindest fucking person. He never babied me or coddled me or whatever but if I changed my mind or wanted to stop half way through, he didn’t mind. He made sure we talked through everything so I wouldn’t be uncomfortable, hugged me when I got a bit freaked out, made me feel safe.”

“That’s how it should be but I’m glad you’ve got that. He does seem really great. I was a bit surprised though, I thought you didn’t wanna be with a bloke.”

“So did I. Turns out that _was_ because of Charlie, I was scared deep down.” His cheeks coloured just a little as a huge grin took over his face. It had taken almost ten years but he was finally comfortable with himself and what he wanted. He could finally let go of everything he’d been through and let his guard down. He was finally truly, unashamedly happy. “I’m not scared any more.”

**Author's Note:**

> come find me @misterdevere on tumblr :)


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